Assalamualaikum everyone. May Allah bless you all.
We live in a very sexualy desensitised world, which really makes remaining steadfast a difficult task for our youth especially.
A major solution to this catastrophe is marriage…
Another test for our youth today is the cross pollination of values due to media globalisation.
As a result of this; we find our youth failing with marriage as the implementation of different cultures in their mindsets has led to a more fussier disposition on their part, and as such, the compatibility arena, which is a condition for the continuance of the marriage, has become a much smaller domain to work with and within.
Today little things as a girl/boy
Being a few years older/younger,
Being a few inches shorter/taller,
Having a complexion that is slightly lighter/darker,
Having a job that pays slightly less than expected, or a profession aside of being a doctor, lawyer, accountant or engineer,
Having a weight listing slightly under/over,
Having an accent of a particular genre,
Having a nationality of a particular class,
Etc etc etc,
Are all grounds for a marriage prospect being a non-starter/ consideration…
Whilst generations before us accepted proposals based on a black and white picture of the girl/boy and knowledge of their religious and character compatibility; we now see marriage today even more complex than ‘chemistry’…
Dear parents, it is for this reason, that in this day and age of globalisation and nationalities, that you don’t further complicate things for our youth, by stipulating that the girl/boy have the same roots as your ancestors did in your homeland decades ago, or that they speak the same language spoken, and cook the same food eaten, in the villages of your forefathers…
The only way to stop any recession, is by going back to the basics before the grave! And in order to stop the marriage recession we see today, which is playing a part in the downward spiral of the values of our youth, is to simplify the marriage process, and to base it on the following prophetic advices:
1. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1084).
2. Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported:
Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said:
“A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust (may you enjoy welfare).”
(Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
3. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.”
(Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.)
4. And He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).”
(Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.)
Please spend some time pondering over these narrations, and benchmark your current thoughts against the ideals of these timeless advices.
Compatibility is a must, don’t get me wrong, however we need to do a better job at defining what compatibility actually means, especially in the modern world.
May Allah protect our youth, bless them with blessed spouses and keep them. Steadfast. Ameen.