Assalamualaikum everyone.

Many time I have come across situations whereby certain heads of households suffer serious anger issues. These issues can be so severe that they actually make the person break things and in some cases actually throw things at fellow people of the same household!

This act of rage is totally unacceptable in the Shariah. Heads of this nature are clearly oppressive to their environments and this sort of behavior severely affects every aspect of the home.

With this sort of leadership, we find;

Depressed wives constantly living in fear…

We also find children of the household growing up with low self esteem with a seriously poor outlook of life. In fact, in some cases I have actually found daughters seriously fearing the prospect of marriage.

No doubt this sort of behavior represents a serious character flaw and weakness in faith. Subhanallah.

My message to these sort of heads is to fear Allah in their treatment towards their wives and children and to seriously seek anger management help.

To the victims of this sort of behavior; I advise patience and sincere dua as a start. There is much more to do thereafter depending on the unique nature of your circumstances, which a Facebook post will never do justice to.

As general advice; if the nature of the head allows for proactive dialogue during calmer moments; this should be sought and healthy discussions in which those on the receiving end, can express their feelings to the perpetrator should take place.

If the situation is more severe, perhaps a wise person that the perpetrator respects should be engaged to assist with the situation.

My heart truly hurts when I receive messages from the ummah of the Messenger (salallahu alayhi wasallam) related to this topic.

May Allah guide and protect us all, protect our marriages, protect our parenting and shower upon us a beautiful patience. Ameen.

Sajid Umar