Assalamualaikum. Please read this, especially if you are raising your daughters in the West or are inclined to the values blasted into your homes via your sattelitte channels.
I didn’t write it. It was written by a highly qualified and educated Muslim sister, Umm Khalid, who studied and graduated from one of the most prestigious University institutions internationally. She currently resides in the USA.
I am putting this piece out there for us to read and decide..
Dr. Sajid Umar
By Umm Khalid:
Women have been lied to. Continuously, for a long time. By a lot of people working together for their own interests to deceive women and take advantage of them.
No, I’m not talking about the patriarchy or Muslim men.
I’m talking about certain nihilist western atheistic elites who have engineered certain social norms and programmed people to operate in a very particular way, for their own agenda and at the expense of women.
This lie was broadcast everywhere: all over the media, in Hollywood, on TV shows and movies, in books and novels, in popular magazines, in song lyrics, in the hallowed halls of Ivy League academia. It was a concerted, targeted marketing campaign.
What was the lie that was told to women en mass since the 1960s and up until today?
Women were told: “You can have it all.”
You, the average woman, can be everything and have everything all at once. Listen to us and your life will work out.
One of the most popular TV shows on American television was a six-season hit show called Sex and the City, and its basic premise is that the modern woman can have it all. She can be forever young, sexy, independent, fun-loving, and successful all on her own. She can live a fun, fulfilling life in the big city working a full-time job and going out with her friends and having casual sex with random men. There’s no need for a woman to burden herself with the heavy weight of marriage, a husband, or motherhood just yet. All that can wait.
But…decades after the show was blasted all across the US and the world, affecting generations of women, something happened.
Candace Bushnell, at the age of 60, who wrote the original 1997 novel which spawned the successful TV series for HBO, opened up to Sunday Times Magazine about her 2012 divorce. She admitted that it made her realize how not starting a family made her feel “truly alone.”
Candance said, “When I was in my 30s and 40s, I didn’t think about it. Then when I got divorced and I was in my 50s, I started to see the impact of not having children and of truly being alone. I do see now that people with children have an anchor in a way that people who have no kids don’t.”
But what will all the women do who were misguided by the show Candance made? This mistake of a show led young women astray into lives of empty consumerism and corporate climbing. What will the show creator’s belated regret do for all these women who got duped? Can it turn back time? Can these women go back and get their youth back and get married and have a family earlier? No.
There is a book titled Subverted: How I Helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women’s Movement. The author is a woman named Sue Ellen Browder, who worked as a long-time freelance writer for Cosmopolitan magazine, one of the most popular women’s magazines that is pored over religiously by western women.
She wrote articles meant to market unmarried sex, contraception, and abortion as the single woman’s path to personal fulfillment. She did not realize until much later that propagandists higher and cleverer than herself were influencing her thinking and her personal choices as they subverted the women’s movement for their own gain.
Sue openly came out and said that the writers at Cosmopolitan magazine, including herself, lied to women. They sold them a complete and total lie. The aim of the writers was to entice women away from their families, away from home, away from their protective male kin and into the big cities, into their own apartment and with the “freedom” to engage in promiscuous behavior with strange men.
No one could have gotten women to act this way at that time with direct instructions, like: “Abandon your traditional mindset, leave your family values behind, sidestep your male protection, and go sleep around with random men! Don’t worry about getting married young or having kids. Just get your higher education and form your identity and your life around your career. Who needs men?”
No. You can’t say that straight up to women and expect them to follow these vile instructions.
You have to soft-sell the idea. You have to make it seem exciting and freeing. You have to carefully manufacture the desire within women, so that they feel that it’s a desire they have naturally.
And–and this is crucial– you have to make it seem necessary, by creating worry, anxiety, and fear within women around marriage, relationships, and men. The fear-mongering goes something like this: “Men are abusive! Men are toxic! Men will screw you over and leave you with the kids and run off with another woman! You’d better protect yourself. You’d better learn how to stand on your own two feet and get your own finances and never trust a man. Get ready to make it on your own after your inevitable divorce.”
And gradually, women slowly started to respond to this implicit messaging and cultural brainwashing. They moved out, got their own place away from home, got highly educated, got on birth control, started working full time, and started having casual sex in lieu of marriage. If they somehow got pregnant, they got abortions. Kids didn’t figure into this glamorous, fast-paced, independent lifestyle.
And these women were turned into consumers. Women were now independent earners in the capitalist machine, and earners can be converted to consumers.
Women read the women’s magazines and learned to live and think this way. Every girl wanted to be a Cosmo girl.
But Sue Ellen Browder, the writer who wrote those Cosmo articles, herself converted to Catholicism and repented, feeling guilty over what she did and how she blatantly lied to millions of women. So she wrote her book.
Here are some interesting words some female readers of the book Subverted had to say:
“I am almost 3/4 of a century old. I lived these lies. I was taken in by the Kool-Ade of these lies. I am grateful for the platform from which Browder exposes these lies. The whole house of cards needs to fall down. The American Family has almost been devastated by these lies. Any civilization that kills its young in the womb and rips the mother out of the family unit will fall.”
“This book blows the whistle on the events which led to the hijacking of the women’s liberation movement by cynical, exploitative, nihilistic individuals. Shows the resulting societal maladies–widespread divorce, sex without love, feminization of poverty, pervasive fear and angst, and, I would add, deepening confusion about personal identity for both men and women.”
“The unattainable Cosmo Girl is a fabrication and a harmful one at that. A total lie.”
“This book helps us see that she was too glib with the new party line that said that it sought to ‘free’ women from men and from offspring, and how it bravely invented false stats to gets its own way, a way no longer recommended by Sue who used to preach it. Stats, incidentally, still cited today as if Gospel truth by those who wish to believe them and maintain the bondage. Two, to see how in all the ups and downs of marriage and motherhood, it is still the way to go.”
This is the background to the modern world we live in today.
These are some of the factors that have shaped the society many Muslims have immigrated to over the past several decades. We Muslims send our kids to these schools, and our kids watch these movies and TV shows, and our daughters read these popular magazines.
Add to these western cultural influences the baggage we bring with us from some of our own Muslim countries: an obsession with prestigious degrees and higher education, a desire for status for the family, greed, and a deep inferiority complex around the West and a sycophantic wish to assimilate.
And then our daughters grow up to be young women who, suddenly and seemingly inexplicably, want to make sure they are “financially stable” and “independent” because “you never know” and “just in case” because many men are “abusive” and lots of “toxic masculinity” exists and “maybe divorce will happen” and “what if the husband dies or cheats”?
This angst, suspicion and worry can be traced back to old social messaging and deliberate engineering.
Most Muslim women don’t obey the societal dictates fully, to the extent of sleeping around and getting multiple abortions (though unfortunately some Muslim women do). This is not how we’ve followed the non-Muslims into the lizard hole. How we have followed them is: having contempt for our men, looking at marriage with suspicion and fear, expecting the worst (سوء الظن) in marriage in the name of protecting ourselves, delaying marriage in favor of education and/ or career, denigrating motherhood, denigrating wifehood, having mistrust with the husband, and rising divorce rates in the Muslim community.
We are operating from a place of fear. Manufactured fear, to turn us from wives and mothers into earners who can be turned into consumers.
Our aspirations are based on lies. Islam is the Truth.
Thank you for sharing! I think this article has a bit of a simplistic view as to why some women are not married. Many Muslim women have little to no support in finding a suitable practising Muslim spouse, therefore I left to use online websites and apps which often means that they ‘meet’ people who are not serious, who they say they are, or a compatible person.
Also I wonder why ‘abusive’ and ‘toxic masculinity’ is in quotation marks? These problems also exist in the Muslim community. What is wrong with a woman getting an education so that if she is in an abusive marriage or her husband dies she is able to get a job and support herself and her children?